You are worth a million

Women out there, listen up. Know that you are all priceless gem. And please, please, please, treat yourself like you would treat a 10-carat diamond. Treasure yourself. Be nice to yourself. And don’t break yourself.

Forget the shit about men treating us badly. The only way we can be treated badly is because we allow ourselves to be treated so.

How much are you worth?

Only you can answer this question. Like a painting, you set the price. And others will find the beauty in you that justify that price. Like the painting, it will find its deserving lover….somehow, some day.

It hurts me to see my friend trash herself up. It hurts me to see her lower herself to the level of begging... begging for love.

Love yourself and you shall be loved.

I hope she learns to love herself soon.

Cybersex...yawn, yawn.....

Having a erotic chat session with this man and I am dozing off. I think part of it is because I am too tired. But honestly, this cybersex thing is boring-la.

It’s a good foreplay, provided that it’s a prelude to the real thing. If it’s not, then it’s a real spirit damper. Get you all high and leave you hanging.

I've notice cybersex is THE thing for married, attached, committed men; those cowardly men who wants to cheat but don’t have the balls to. Yak, yak, yak, but when you actually invite them for the real thing, they keep quiet and retreat.

I am sorry, but I’d really rather the real thing.

Common, even if you’re supposed to enjoy the fantasy, you couldn’t even possible play with yourself effectively on this end of the screen when both you hands are supposed to be typing on the keyboard!

Please... be right in front of me, and I could put both my hands to better use!

What is the difference between sex and making love?

Sex is about yourself, about self-dicovery, self-satisfaction. It's about power and confidence. It is in many ways, selfish. It's a journey where there destination - the climax, the orgasm - is the ultimate goal. There's a lot of excitement, a lot of rush and impatience.

Making love, on the other hand, is about cherishing another person. It's about succumbing your control. Excitement is replaced with tenderness, respect, admiration and affection. You are happy to just caress, pplant light kisses alll over him, and study every nook of his body. You gaze into his eyes and you are overcome with emotions but lost for wards at the same time. It's a journey that has no end, and one that you wish would not end. It is slow

We made love last night, three times over. It was not the normal hard and raw sex that we normally have. It was full of tenderness. He just lied there, on top of me, inside me, and just looked and looked at me.

God forbid, I love this man.

To say this bring tears to my eyes. Because I just cannot bring myself to say this to him.

A UFO Experience

It’s terrible. I have a new discrimination problem. I have a UFO discrimination problem.

I met a new guy this week, someone I have been chatting with online. We have not seen each other’s picture before.

I walked up the steps leading to the restaurant, looked around and swore. That can’t be him, I hoped. But it had to be him, there was no one else… it had to be that bald guy sitting on the far end. It certainly was.

Could you sleep with a balding man?

Not a bald man. A bald man, I think, is sexy. Totally, clean-shaved bald.

I am talking those that was bald on the top, but has a rim of hair around the head. The UFO hair man. Or worse, there’s a few long strands hair stretched from one side, across the crown, to the other, in a fruitless effort to disguise the baldness… the ultimate Robin Hood hair, where you rob from the rich, to give to the poor. That, is not sexy. It’s a turn off.

I am not trying to be mean. Uncle James sports that kind of hairstyle. And I know it’s not by choice.

The guy was OK. He wasn’t entirely charming, but decent. Was a very rich and powerful. Was married looking for something interesting. As EL rightly put it, a potential sugar-daddy.

But the whole night, every timeI look at his face to talk to him, my eyes were naturally distracted by the sparkle from the top. I couldn’t have gone through with it.

One Neon Mercy Fuck was enough. And I was in a situation, unlike the past, I have a choice to not continue to a fuck situation.

At the end of the night, he asked if we were going to meet again. I lied.

As I got into the car, I have this huge sense of pride for my Mark, who at the same age, still have a heedful full of thick black hair.

As I drove off, I felt shame and guilt, I had just rejected a man because of his baldness.

But the answer was NO, I don’t think I could sleep with a UFO mam.

That poor man...

Biting My Toungue

I have been so stressed lately, I always catch myself clenching my jaw and biting my tongue.

But yesterday morning, I really had to bite my tongue. It was not sex, it was really connection of souls. I have such intense feeling for that man. So intense, it was screaming in my head. And I want so much to tell him… to tell him how much I love him.

But I know those are the very words that will drive him away. So I bit my tongue and cried in my heart.

Restlessness

Have you ever felt that you don’t know what to do with yourself?

I am in that phase right now.

Intellectually, I am not challenged, not excited. But physically I am so tired.

I don’t know what to do with myself. Even sex and alcohol is not blinding the restlessness.

I feel a little lost. I have no direction. I have always thought I could be happy doing what I am doing. But the satisfaction is leveling off.