Home Alas!

After 4 weeks of back-to-back traveling, I am so happy that my “road show month” has finally ended. I practically went to all four corners of Malaysia in the last month. No kidding. I am going have my both feet firmly planted in KL soil at least for the next 30 days. Nope - nothing will make me leave KL for the next month.

Perhaps it’s because I have always been a homebody. I cannot understand the prestige people stamp on those regional, jet-setting, live out of a suitcase life.

I hate hotels. I can never sleep well in them.

I love my home. I love the space. I love my bed.

Sometimes, I wonder if this is due to my clear and distinct preference, or my inability to adapt. In other words, a sign of old age….

The Holy Trinity

With the onset of World Cup fever, many companies have jumped at new money-making opportunities.

Big screen and plasma TVs sold like hot cakes.

The pizza boys have a whole new menu of pizzas in the colours of the competing teams.

F&B guys – needless to say – they are always geared for biggies like this.

I thought the VCD sellers are the cleverest yet. In anticipation of declined sales during the World Cup, they have formed a partnership with the bookies and the loan sharks. The former finance the loan sharks, who in turn extend loans via the bookies easily available to the football gamblers. Take about diversification and synergies. Hats off to them.

New Breed of Widows

First there were the poor golf widows. Now we have the World Cup widows.

World Cup fever brought with it sex drought. Yes baby, don’t bother about sex till July 10. In the evening, they are too busy watching the games. In the day, they are just dozing away.

Every man I know is sleep deprived. First work day of the World Cup and I already have my 2 male staff on sick leave.

I am quite sure global birth rates will mark a significant drop in February 2007.

GDP will drop with the temporary closure of the sex and porn trade. Revenue for condom companies will probably drop this month too. However, this drop will be balanced by the increase in F&B spending and electricity consumption.

The lucky ones will be the ginseng and tongkat ali producers – sales will probably skyrocket through the roof – spurred not by consumption as performance boosters, but for it’s “keep-me-awake” properties.

Historians, sociologist, anthropologist and economist should pay heed. This phenomenon can fuel a whole school of research and studies.

Of Snake & Friends

I drove over a 7 ft snake two nights ago. In the middle of the night, it just appeared in the middle of the fast lane on Jalan Lapangan Terbang Subang. I was just too fast, too near. Went over it and it felt like I went over a bump. Believe me, I freaked.

Firstly, I have never ran over anything, dead or alive!

Secondly, what’s a 7 ft snake doing crossing a highway. I have never seen anything that size other than in a zoo tank!

I shuddered at the thought that I have blood and snake skin splattered all over my car. And I felt awful. I was hoping against hope that the fella didn't die.

Against my better judgement, I drove back to the spot to see how bad that poor snake was. This time, I made sure I drove slower on the slow lane. But I just couldn’t find the snake.

And just when you least expect it, lo and behold, the snake was right in front of me. I was so close to running over it a second time. I swerved and was almost hit by another car. It didn’t die. In the time it took me to loop around back to the spot, it had slithered from the fast lane across to the slow lane.

Damn that stupid snake – scaring me once was not enough, it had to do it twice.

As usual, I called up my closent friends to loan some courage and shed some fear. I had mixed reactions.

One said it was bad omen (oh yes, thank you very much for being so reassuring).

Another asked me to buy 4D - the snake was a $$ sign

Another told me to keep all my doors and windows tightly closed - the snake might come after me for revenge.

Mark sent his recovery wishes to the snake - not sure whether it was the naturalist or the cynical side of him.

Don't you just love your friends sometimes.

I Love You

I love the way you look like a baby when you are asleep, on your sides with your arms between your knees.
I love you for being there for me when I open my eyes in the morning.
I love the way you sniff me out in the morning and tell me I smell great.
I love the way you loop your arms around me and it feels so right.
I love the way you call my name.
I love the way you pull and crack my toes.
I love the way you play with my hair.
I love they way you treats me like I'm a little princess.
I love you for all these sweet moments and precious memories.
I love you.
You may not know it, you may not love me back the same way I do...
But I don't need you to.
I just love you... all of you.

Don’t Ever Get Pregnant

Seriously. Don’t! For your own sake.

Despite all those dreams mothers-in-denial sell to us about the joys of pregnancy, I pregnancy is too big a sacrifice. Think about it….

You lose your body
You lose your brain cells
You lose bone mass
You lose money (this is an eternal and perpetual loss)
You lose the innocence and youth in your looks (i.e. you look haggard)
And more importantly…. You lose your self-confidence

Jennifer is pregnant. And the pregnancy has made her forgetful and perpetually blur. She is always tired. Her work is a mess - it's shoddy, overdue and simply unsatisfactory.

I don't mean to be heartless, but I just have no choice. Customers are screaming at me and she is the source of it. There’s no one else to scream at.

I don’t ever, ever want to be in that position. I don’t think a kid is worth all that, especially not my self-esteem, self-pride and self-confidence.

He’s So Damn Into You

I have not read the bestselling book called He’s Just Not That Into You. The book didn’t contain a single idea that we women all didn’t know since our first date. Men have always been assholes. Just that we women keep hoping that there is an odd one out there.

But now… now I think there may be a glimmer of hope.

Karen’s man is nuts! Imagine a man who would stop a bus for you. Yes, it’s true.

And man who would drive out to a Starbucks every morning to buy you a cup of your favorite coffee.

A man who would call you every morning to lovingly make sure you’re not late for work, and every evening to see how your day was.

A man who would just lie next to you quietly and cuddle you when you’re sick, then make porridge for you.

Yes, yes… this man does exist.

Now, I think I am going to write the rival book called He’s So Damn Into You.

Heck, if I can’t find this man for myself, at least I could get rich selling the “dream” of him to women around the world.

There’s a catch though – he is someone else’s husband.

So gals and gals, moral of the day…. don’t get married, it spells the end of your perfect man and the doom of your romantic fairytale.

I can no longer write

I can no longer write.

Serious. Writing hurts my wrist.

The only time I hold a pen now is to sign. And that too, I am getting horrible at it.

Recently, I have had to sign so many documents. My lazy wrist has reduced my signatory “S” to a squiggly line.

What has technology reduced us too. Even the wrist is getting lazy.

Of Tarot Cards and the One

Tarot cards tell me I have found my lifetime companion.

I know this man. I love this man.

I had wanted someone, some divine force to tell that he is the one. Yet now being told exactly that, I wonder if I want to believe it entirely.

He is so perfect, yet so imperfect.

My lifetime companion no longer believes in matrimony. My companion does not want kids. These… I think I can live with, gladly.

But sometimes I feel that he is too distant, too unpredictable, out of my reach. But yet, these are the exact qualities that make me keep wanting him.

I think…. I am mad.

You are worth a million

Women out there, listen up. Know that you are all priceless gem. And please, please, please, treat yourself like you would treat a 10-carat diamond. Treasure yourself. Be nice to yourself. And don’t break yourself.

Forget the shit about men treating us badly. The only way we can be treated badly is because we allow ourselves to be treated so.

How much are you worth?

Only you can answer this question. Like a painting, you set the price. And others will find the beauty in you that justify that price. Like the painting, it will find its deserving lover….somehow, some day.

It hurts me to see my friend trash herself up. It hurts me to see her lower herself to the level of begging... begging for love.

Love yourself and you shall be loved.

I hope she learns to love herself soon.

Cybersex...yawn, yawn.....

Having a erotic chat session with this man and I am dozing off. I think part of it is because I am too tired. But honestly, this cybersex thing is boring-la.

It’s a good foreplay, provided that it’s a prelude to the real thing. If it’s not, then it’s a real spirit damper. Get you all high and leave you hanging.

I've notice cybersex is THE thing for married, attached, committed men; those cowardly men who wants to cheat but don’t have the balls to. Yak, yak, yak, but when you actually invite them for the real thing, they keep quiet and retreat.

I am sorry, but I’d really rather the real thing.

Common, even if you’re supposed to enjoy the fantasy, you couldn’t even possible play with yourself effectively on this end of the screen when both you hands are supposed to be typing on the keyboard!

Please... be right in front of me, and I could put both my hands to better use!

What is the difference between sex and making love?

Sex is about yourself, about self-dicovery, self-satisfaction. It's about power and confidence. It is in many ways, selfish. It's a journey where there destination - the climax, the orgasm - is the ultimate goal. There's a lot of excitement, a lot of rush and impatience.

Making love, on the other hand, is about cherishing another person. It's about succumbing your control. Excitement is replaced with tenderness, respect, admiration and affection. You are happy to just caress, pplant light kisses alll over him, and study every nook of his body. You gaze into his eyes and you are overcome with emotions but lost for wards at the same time. It's a journey that has no end, and one that you wish would not end. It is slow

We made love last night, three times over. It was not the normal hard and raw sex that we normally have. It was full of tenderness. He just lied there, on top of me, inside me, and just looked and looked at me.

God forbid, I love this man.

To say this bring tears to my eyes. Because I just cannot bring myself to say this to him.

A UFO Experience

It’s terrible. I have a new discrimination problem. I have a UFO discrimination problem.

I met a new guy this week, someone I have been chatting with online. We have not seen each other’s picture before.

I walked up the steps leading to the restaurant, looked around and swore. That can’t be him, I hoped. But it had to be him, there was no one else… it had to be that bald guy sitting on the far end. It certainly was.

Could you sleep with a balding man?

Not a bald man. A bald man, I think, is sexy. Totally, clean-shaved bald.

I am talking those that was bald on the top, but has a rim of hair around the head. The UFO hair man. Or worse, there’s a few long strands hair stretched from one side, across the crown, to the other, in a fruitless effort to disguise the baldness… the ultimate Robin Hood hair, where you rob from the rich, to give to the poor. That, is not sexy. It’s a turn off.

I am not trying to be mean. Uncle James sports that kind of hairstyle. And I know it’s not by choice.

The guy was OK. He wasn’t entirely charming, but decent. Was a very rich and powerful. Was married looking for something interesting. As EL rightly put it, a potential sugar-daddy.

But the whole night, every timeI look at his face to talk to him, my eyes were naturally distracted by the sparkle from the top. I couldn’t have gone through with it.

One Neon Mercy Fuck was enough. And I was in a situation, unlike the past, I have a choice to not continue to a fuck situation.

At the end of the night, he asked if we were going to meet again. I lied.

As I got into the car, I have this huge sense of pride for my Mark, who at the same age, still have a heedful full of thick black hair.

As I drove off, I felt shame and guilt, I had just rejected a man because of his baldness.

But the answer was NO, I don’t think I could sleep with a UFO mam.

That poor man...

Biting My Toungue

I have been so stressed lately, I always catch myself clenching my jaw and biting my tongue.

But yesterday morning, I really had to bite my tongue. It was not sex, it was really connection of souls. I have such intense feeling for that man. So intense, it was screaming in my head. And I want so much to tell him… to tell him how much I love him.

But I know those are the very words that will drive him away. So I bit my tongue and cried in my heart.

Restlessness

Have you ever felt that you don’t know what to do with yourself?

I am in that phase right now.

Intellectually, I am not challenged, not excited. But physically I am so tired.

I don’t know what to do with myself. Even sex and alcohol is not blinding the restlessness.

I feel a little lost. I have no direction. I have always thought I could be happy doing what I am doing. But the satisfaction is leveling off.

A wild, wild F1 weekend

I did it!
I did it on the bathroom sink!
I did it on the bathroom floor!
I did it with a poster pin-up hunk!
I did it with Reg next door!

A lot of exclamation was required above because it was truly just that... unbelievable.

Nicholas (gee, I don’t even know if that’s how it’s spelt) was gorgeous. We were at the Ritz Carlton suite. The butlerwas summoned to bring up condoms (yes, Ritz really provide it all). And yes, less the door, it would have been a groupie with Al and Reg.

But alas, it is what it is, a one night stand. But sure was an exciting one.

Malaysian Shorts

Just came back from a showcase of various Malaysia short films by Kelab Filem Negara. The standard, I must say, was very disappointing. The future of Malaysia film-making industry is bleak indeed.

Most of these young producers/directors were just trying too hard to be artsy-futsy, to be controversia... yet none of them dare to dwell in with depth. When asked point blank, it was obvious none had firm opinions or deep passion for any of the issues that were raised in their films. They film was made for the sake of making. Most made with vagueness and about nothingness, but they lay their defence behind the veil called art.

Bullshit!

What was supposed to be a showcase of Malaysian film maturity ended being was just an display of amateur college-level work. A bunch of kids claiming to be “independent” when all they are really doing is to try to appeal to the masses.

I don’t understand why people (of at least this bunch of most Malaysian film-makers) feel the need to instill controversies. While inde-films have been an outlet for such issues to come out in the light, it is not a mandatory in the inde sphere.

Film-making is not necessarily about controversies. Film-making is the art of storytelling on film. One could make a darn good piece by just telling a beautiful story beautifully.

Wake up, people!

You don't always have choices

It has been 2 rough months. I am just exhausted.

It’s one thing to fire an incompetent staff. It’s horrid to ask hard-working, dedicated staff to leave. And that’s precisely what I have been asked to do.

I spent the last 2 months defending the profitability of my business unit and its potential future. Despite my best efforts and justification and promises, I lost the battle.

I understand the bosses’ point of view. I understand these are practical calls. But I cannot agree with them.

I always thought I have choices. This round, I have very few. And I am struggling with what’s on the table. I am torn, disheartened.

Perhaps it’s much better to get a regular nine-to-five mindless job and not having to deal with such issues.

I know, I know. It’s part of the package. I am the one who coined the phrase, all the more I know what it means.

Another wedding looms, another family bickering

What is it about Chinese families when it comes to wedding…they always manage to turn a happy occasion into an unhappy one. Expectation and assumptions - a poisonous combination.

Toilet Breeds Ideas

I had a eureka last week while sitting on the toilet. This is not the first time. Toilets are great places for ideas because for that brief moment in time, your mind is free. You leave all your worries at the toilet door. And when your mind is free, that’s when you brain can start conjuring ideas up.

It’s true. My mentor, SFoo, also get her idea frequently from the toilet.

However, be warned, when the idea comes, the shit doesn’t. My brilliant idea caused me 2 days of constipation.