I had a wonderful day today, but somehow ended on a down note because I was made to talked about DK twice. I think it started in the morning, while I was cleaning, I picked up my old dairy and read the entries about him.
How he ruffled my hair, played with my skirt under the meeting table, came to my BBQ party, peeled crabs for me, fed me durian, bought me flowers... I miss him.
And I feel this stab in my heart, and I feel it bleed, the pain exploding from my heart to my head, welling in my eyes.
Damn! I thought I was done and over with this man. I have been having a wonderful time, have been with people who are far more intriguing, and who treats me like a princess. So what's wrong with me?! Why do I still miss him?
What is wrong with me?!!!! I have no answer...
Maybe it's because he was the first man that I truly loved. The other guys before him, even John, all loved me more than I loved them. Most times, I was a selfish bastard who loved myself more. But I did love DK, and held nothing back. This is what they callled unconditional love right? But why does unconditional love hurt so bad?
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