The Joy of Weddings

I don't understand couples who go to great lengths to put on a show for their weddings. I have seen so many of them - perfect selection of songs, eights changes of gowns for the bride and three for the groom, patronizing speeches and pretentious acts of love. Throw a big party and hope your guests will subsidize the bill. I just don't get it.

I don't care if I get married or not. That is not the purpose of my being. But I vowed that if I ever do, I will never put myself through the agony of a wedding reception. Honeymoon wedding would be just great, and you will get a simple card from me informing you of my latest joy and happiness.

My brother is getting married soon. And he is putting up a fairytale wedding. They have been working on it since last year, souveniours with thei names on it, designer wedding cards, customer-made outfits, photoshoots in exotic islands, song list, the whole works.

And customary to being a dear sister, I have to look nice for him on the night. So I went all the way down to Singapore and bought a Daniel Yam gown. For the record, I hate to buy gowns. It's an utter waste of money; you wear them once or twice, most times they just occupy space in your closet.

But for his sake, I made myself buy a brand new one. And I pick a really versatile gown, with 2 sashes that can be tied and twisted in many ways, in hope that I could use this gown more than once.

Yesterday, my brother made a comment that I shouldn't have bought that gown. Reason - it was white in colour and look quite similar to the bride's gown (mine is a simple RM300 gown; hers is a custom-made beige gown with crystals, and a sash too but less versatile, and cost about RM1K). The comment was initially made by the designer (I think he is just jealous) but what bothered me was the fact that my brother allowed it to affect him and passed the comment back to me (which means that he agrees with the statement).

Gee, what happened to having your loved one share the greatest moment of your life? Does it matter whose dress stands out better? Was the gown more important than me?

It's so easy to get sucked in into this whole glamorous she-bang that people forget the reason we celebrate weddings is actually to share your joy and happiness, not your show.